AE's Very First Official Poo Thread

Re: AE's Very First Official Poo Thread

testing 2

Re: AE's Very First Official Poo Thread

I took a big dump
smelled just like Trump

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Been pooping in a porta at work for the past few months. These dudes can leave some serious logs and mud puddles.

Re: AE's Very First Official Poo Thread

Hey, Jude Pooed

Hi, I'm Jude
I just pooed

It was sticky
Like it was glued

Now I feel better
I'm in a good mood

Unlike before
When I was rude

It's Saturday night
I'm gonna get stewed

Re: AE's Very First Official Poo Thread

The Jobsite Poop Blues

I go to work
Get poop on my shoes
Oh, Lord, I paid my dues
I got the jobsite porta-potty blues

These dudes drop serious logs
And crop dust terrible fogs
I step in deep mud puddles
Oh, Lord, I'm so befuddled

Re: AE's Very First Official Poo Thread

hot or cold
the stains foretold,
the higher the pitch
the deeper the moat,
even for a skinny old bloke.

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I just shit a dark black mudpie, it smelled like sulfur, might have been from those egg-salad and sauerkraut sammies I eated yesterday.

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My 2 poops have been arriving on time since AE has been down. They have varied in form, but have been regularly on time!

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Well done!

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Love the Jobsite Poo jingles.

As an admin, I do the shopping. One guy asked me to get him butt wipes. As always, I show the list to the Superintendent or the Project Manager. This time it was the super. He loudly proclaimed that said *employee* can buy his own butt wipes. We all now call him a tender ass.

And...I have restricted him from using the in-trailer bathroom. We have a limited water tank in there that is refilled each week. FFS, I shit in the outhouse and I'm allowed to shit in the trailer.

I put up as sign that the in-trailer is for guests only. He wrote "And Abe" his initials. So I put up a new one that was laminated, and he found the dry erase markers.

The shit wars will continue.

Re: AE's Very First Official Poo Thread

Oh, a big stinky poo, it made its grand entrance,

A symphony of smells, a true aromatic dance,

It may be gross or taboo, but let's not be blue,

For this big stinky poo, it's just part of life's brew.

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Ode to Marge

Marjorie Taylor Greene
Took a dump 'twas so obscene
She couldn't wipe herself clean
Not even with the help of vaseline

Maybe that's why she's so damn mean
And looks like the backside of a holstein

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Two small kerplunks the size of a cheeto puff for me today.

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Porta cred.

I'm lingering on the side of the trailer because the porta is in use. One of our crustiest field foremen (as in a bitchy PITA that does good work) sees me waiting for the porta. Once the co-trailer dweller/assistant super comes out of the porta, Foreman looks at me and points to the trailer and says "Don't you work in there?" As if chicks shouldn't use portas when they have other options.

"Yep" and continued on to the porta. True is that I had to take a shit and didn't want to do it in the trailer. Funny is that he was questioning why I wasn't using the trailer instead of the porta. Dunno.

They might get one going on the first floor in the building, but then I have to wear a safety vest and a hard hat to use it. I'm not sure I will ever be the same once I get a job with an indoor toilet.

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In the depths of my bowels, a beast did arise,
A big stinky poop, catching me by surprise,
Its pungent aroma, a force to be reckoned,
a demon from hell has been beckoned.

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looks like we are back with a bang!! Great new poo poems and poo reports!!

Keep up the great work folks!! KUDOS!

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I fart three times in the afternoon
Then take a dump under a fool moon
Most people say I'm crazy as a loon
But I'm gonna get married come June

Love will see us through
We'll be in baked bean heaven
There ain't nuthin' the sheriff can do
We'll have lots of children, seven

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Walking down the street, what's that funky smell?
I glance around, hoping no one can tell
But it's following me, like a cloud of doom
Gotta find a bathroom, gotta find a room


Squeezing my cheeks, trying to hold it in
But it's getting stronger, can't escape the sin
Everyone's staring, they can sense the funk
I'm trying to hide, but it's making me clunk

Big stinky poo, oh what will I do?
I need to find a toilet, before it breaks through
Oh, big stinky poo, it's a real hot mess
But I'll survive this ordeal, I'll just hold my breath

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my bunghole smells like cheese

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I just dropped a load the consistency of peanut butter, only darker.

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My Bunghole smells like a Beef & Bean Burrito

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[Verse]
Woke up this morning feeling kinda strange
Had that rumble in my stomach
Something's 'bout to change
Thought I had some time
But boy was I wrong
I took a step too far
Now my undies sing this song

[Verse 2]
It hit me like a hurricane
A force beyond compare
Now I'm stuck in this sticky situation
It's just not fair
Trying to hold it in
But it burst through the seams
Oh
What a mess I've made
A nightmare in my dreams

[Chorus]
Big nasty shit in my pants (oh-oh-oh)
I'm in a stinky
Messy trance (yeah-yeah-yeah)
Can't believe what I've just done (uh-oh)
Now my undies
They're not so fun

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Took a big shit this morning, two feet of sleek solid brown log that smelled like a hot biscuit, it flushed fine and left no skid.

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This thread stinks!

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Fuck !

Just took a shit. wiped my ass, pulled my pants up.

walked into the kitchen

coughted

and shit my pants.

Re: AE's Very First Official Poo Thread

Fuck !

Just took a shit. wiped my ass, pulled my pants up.

walked into the kitchen

coughted

and shit my pants.
----------------------------------------

10 minutes later at 6:02 am the power went out.

9:21 three minutes ago it came back on.

Fuck today

Re: AE's Very First Official Poo Thread

I chit tree time today I eated Wallies Beef and bean burrito's I tink I might chit again to.

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Hey ese, dont eat da chupalinas day gib you da chits man

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Hmmm me make big Poo Poo in Teepee

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Sperm whales drop giant poop bombs to save themselves from orca attack

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^^ "This is called a rosette, another defensive mechanism they use when they're under attack," Tucker said.

Next time cops are chasing me I just might drop a Rosette

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To do list Monday:

CALL THE PORTA DUDES.

The Executive outhouse is full, and I hope they pumped the ones in the field otherwise we are going to have guys shitting in the bushes. And we don't have a lot of bushes, so it is going to get gross.

Enact riot act on shitters.

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I just dropped a huge pot full of rosettes that barely flushed. The butt nuggets I wiped out of my asshole were numerous and disgusting.

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I just dropped one that reminded me of a massive smoked sausage.

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Im lactose intolerant and I just drank a quart of ice cold choklate milk. Fuck that shit was soooo good.

Prepare yourself for projectile diarrhea's