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AE's very first official poo thread

Anonymous Coward
2/2/2018 4:38 pm EST
2/2/2018 9:38 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

I named it Donny the Turd because Turd is a synonym for Moron and Donald Trump is the king. I urinated on it, then I spat on it, and then flushed it down the throat of the Donald Trump !!

smiley

Poo Master
2/2/2018 6:25 pm EST
2/2/2018 11:25 pm GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

Fascinating Facts & Fantasies about Farting

http://www.davyking.com/fart.htm

HELL YEAH !!

This morning's trip to the Donald Trump resulted in, as usual, another Ouija Board poo coil. The letter "P" was revealed floating in his mouth and measured 16" long. I named it Donny the Putz because Putz is a synonym for Moron and Donald Trump ia THE perfect example of one.. I flipped it the bird, then I urinated on it, and then flushed it down the throat of the Donald Trump !!

Love and Poo coils to all !
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/3/2018 10:51 am EST
2/3/2018 3:51 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

I made 3 poops in one hour. The first was 15 inches long and fat. The second was 17 inches and skinny the third was loose poop and some brown water. All in all there seemed to a lot more poop than what I ate yesterday. It must have been stored up. I guess I was really full of shite!
smiley

saved by a poo
2/3/2018 2:42 pm EST
2/3/2018 7:42 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

I was called into work unexpectedly today. Yesterday I had several burritos and drank about 6 or 7 beers. I had to poo at work and when I did. There was a LOT of gas with the poo. The ventilation fan was broke in the rest room so when my boss went in to use he immediately came out and heard me rip a big fart. He told me that I could go home because he was going home because of the smell and we could pick up on Monday again.

YIPPPEEEE!!!!
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/3/2018 7:19 pm EST
2/4/2018 12:19 am GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

^Sounds like a good plan. Perhaps I will have to try that after eating some Mex.
smiley

Poo Master
2/3/2018 8:37 pm EST
2/4/2018 1:37 am GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

The Psychology of a Fart

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/psychoanalysis-now/2016/09/the-psychology-of-a-fart/

HELL YEAH !!

This morning's trip to the Donald Trump resulted in, guess, another Ouija Board poo coil. The letter "S" was revealed floating in his mouth and measured 18" long. I named it Donny the Schwanz because Schwanz is a synonym for Moron and Donald Trump the MOTUS (Moron of the United States of America). I cursed it out real good, then I urinated on it, and then flushed it down the throat of the Donald Trump !!

Love and poo coils to all !!
smiley

Shitlike Productions
2/4/2018 4:50 am EST
2/4/2018 9:50 am GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

I took a huge shit yesterday morning that was so big it caused my ass to bleed, I was dehydrated from all the winter furnace air.

When I first took a squat, my turd wouldn't come out, it was very painful, so I stopped. And while a turtle head was poking out, I waddled to the kitchen and drank a cup of hot tap water to stimulate the bowels.

I waddled back to the throne room as a great upwelling of colon spasms struck. Sitting back down, I had the kind of grunt where you see stars. I grunted and grunted, straining, waiting, hoping. Finally, my turd baby crowned and I birthed a gargantuan brown son three feet long, he kept coming out of my tired little corn chute for what seemed like hours.

The flush was difficult, because my son was not only huge, but he'd folded himself in half in the bowl. So I had to chop him into pieces in order to go down, so for that I used a plastic knife. My turd son was very stiff, it was difficult chopping him up, the plastic knife broke, I felt like a botched abortionist.

However, the operation was a success and my ex-son went down in one flush, leaving behind a huge skid mark. I wrapped the plastic turd knife in newspaper, then put that in a plastic shopping bag, then put that outside in the trash. It's never pleasant knowing there's pieces of your dead son in the garbage can.

The bung wash was fairly nasty, there was plenty of greasy fecal debris on my corn chute, debris that was once my son. But with plenty of soap and hot water I was able to get the job done, making my bunghole great again.

THE END

Anonymous Coward
2/4/2018 8:51 am EST
2/4/2018 1:51 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread


smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/4/2018 12:13 pm EST
2/4/2018 5:13 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

Two good poops today. the first was 17 inches long and about 1 inch wide. The second was 9 inches long and less than an inch wide. They both sank to the bottom and left no skidmarks!
smiley

Satisfied Pooper
2/4/2018 4:26 pm EST
2/4/2018 9:26 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

It's been 329 STRAIGHT DAYS of perfect pooping!!

My pooping karma remains well and intact!!!
smiley

Poo Master
2/4/2018 8:51 pm EST
2/5/2018 1:51 am GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

It's Time To Change The Stigma Of Public Farting

https://postgradproblems.com/its-time-to-change-the-stigma-of-public-farting/

HELL YEAH !!

This morning's trip to the Donald Trump resulted in, as expected, another Ouija Board poo coil. The letter "D" was revealed floating in his mouth and measured 15" long. I named it Donny the Dingus because Dingus is a synonym for Moron and Donald Trump never misses a chance to prove that he is one. I mocked it, then I urinated on it, and then flushed it down the throat of the Donald Trump !!

Love and poo coils to all !!
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/5/2018 9:01 am EST
2/5/2018 2:01 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

I made my Superbowl poop today after eating tons of food yesterday. It turned out to be a 21 inch long poop that was hard to measure because it folded up on itself, so the measurement is conservative. I lost 5 pounds after it exited.
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/5/2018 12:14 pm EST
2/5/2018 5:14 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

AAARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!! Ate too much bean dip and today the poop is looking, and smelling, like the bean dip. Several cowpies already today and s bit of brown water that shoots out.
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/5/2018 4:03 pm EST
2/5/2018 9:03 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

Made a poop after lunch after not having the usual morning poop. It was YUUUUGEE!!! I was at work, so I could not measure it, but is was between 15 and 2o inches and smelled really bad. I left the rest room very quickly so no one would nknow that I was the one who did the smelly deed.

Poo Master
2/5/2018 7:41 pm EST
2/6/2018 12:41 am GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

My BF's Farts are Hurting Our Relationship 

https://thebolditalic.com/my-bf-s-farts-are-hurting-our-relationship-the-bold-italic-san-francisco-3aa7b8964d74


HELL YEAH !!

This morning's trip to theDonald Trumpresulted in, TADDAAAAA, another Ouija Board poo coil. The letter "G" was revealed floating in his mouth and measured 19" long. I named it Donny the Goofball because Goofball is a synonym for Moron and Donald Trump cannot help but act like one all the time. I urinated on it, then I spat it, and then flushed it down the throat of the Donald Trump !!

Love and poo coils to all !!
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/6/2018 9:48 am EST
2/6/2018 2:48 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

This morning's first dump was a nice one approx. 16 inches long and normal girth. It was a floater and light brown in color. The second dump was only about 6 inches long but a lot fatter than the first one, was dark brown and sunk. neither left a skid mark and was an easy wipe.
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/6/2018 1:24 pm EST
2/6/2018 6:24 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

About a half hour ago I popped out a poo coil that 18 inches long and more than an inch across. It came out fast and was followed by small blast of brown water.
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/6/2018 3:26 pm EST
2/6/2018 8:26 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

I named it Donny the Schwanz because Schwanz is a synonym for Moron and Donald Trump the MOTUS (Moron of the United States of America).

smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/6/2018 5:54 pm EST
2/6/2018 10:54 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

Nothing like a shite to get Trump out of your system.
smiley

Poo Master
2/6/2018 7:10 pm EST
2/7/2018 12:10 am GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

How to Properly Pass Gas in Public

http://www.crunchyroll.com/forumtopic-837399/how-to-properly-pas-gas-in-public

HELL YEAH !!

This morning's trip to the Donald Trump resulted in, OMG, another Ouija Board poo coil. The letter "C" was revealed floating in his mouth and measured 17" long. I named it Donny the Cocksucker because Cocksucker is a synonym for Moron and Donald Trump has become a synonym for Moron. I laughed at it, then I gave it the middle finger salute, and then flushed it down the throat of the Donald Trump !!

Love and poo coils to all !!
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/7/2018 6:32 am EST
2/7/2018 11:32 am GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

Dropped a 15 inch loaf in the toilet. I think there will be another one getting ready to come out soon. Will update as needed.
smiley

pooty mediator apprentice
2/7/2018 6:53 am EST
2/7/2018 11:53 am GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

Pooping today resulted in a cannon blast of brown water at first, then it was followed by a load of pencil thin spaghetti-like poop coils.

Could it be......SATAN??


What we have here is a vaping trick and it is smoke circles, not coils. Done.

Marilyn Manroe
2/7/2018 6:55 am EST
2/7/2018 11:55 am GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

"I love a good or bad fart, anytime...I'm a loki-farter."

Anonymous Coward
2/7/2018 7:15 am EST
2/7/2018 12:15 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

Farting is a good thing. It would be treasonous for any American to complain about farting.
smiley

The Kybo Kid
2/7/2018 12:25 pm EST
2/7/2018 5:25 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

The past two days, I've been eating nothing but homemade lentil soap loaded with onions. So this morning as I was washing the dishes, I felt the sharp pain of a gas bubble in my gut. I thought I'd finish washing the dishes then hit the toilet, I thought I'd the time. But then out of nowhere, I was hit with a severe gut pain like appendicitis.

I let out a little fart but the pain remained. I knew then that I must get to the toilet immediately before I shit myself, but the pain was too severe, I couldn't move. I wanted to fart but knew I'd shit myself. So after about a minute of standing next to the kitchen sink in gut wrenching agony, I was able to get to the toilet and drop my drawers.

Upon taking a squat, I immediately evacuated my bowels. The crap made a low roaring sound as it came out and finished with a "BLAT! that resonated in the bowel. The whole process took about ten seconds.

Looking into the bowl, I saw that I'd made a massive fudge pie that filled the entire bottom of the bowl. The smell was surprisingly underwhelming. The wipe was a bit nasty but not too bad. It all went down in one flush but slowly, leaving behind a huge skid mark.

I washed by puckered corn chute and am now daisy fresh, ready to face another day of converting foodstuffs into fudge pies.

THE END

Poo Master
2/7/2018 3:51 pm EST
2/7/2018 8:51 pm GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

^^^^^^ANOTHER EXCELLENT Pooping report!!

KUDOS!!!
smiley

Poo Master
2/7/2018 7:02 pm EST
2/8/2018 12:02 am GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

The Story Of A Woman Who Had Explosive Diarrhea TWICE During A One Night Stand Is The Shittiest Story Of The Day.

http://brobible.com/life/article/explosive-diarrhea-twice/

HELL YEAH !!

This morning's trip to the Donald Trump resulted in, nothing other than, another Ouija Board poo coil. The letter "I" was revealed floating in his mouth and measured 13" long. I named it Donny the Ignoramus because Ignoramus is a synonym for Moron and Donald Trump leaves no doubt in anyone's mind that he is one. I urinated on it, then I hockered on it, and then flushed it down the throat of the Donald Trump !!

Love and poo coils to all !!
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/8/2018 8:39 am EST
2/8/2018 1:39 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

This am I mad a 22 inch kielbasa that was skinnier than usual probably accounting for its length. It was a good one nonetheless!!
smiley

Satisfied Pooper
2/8/2018 1:04 pm EST
2/8/2018 6:04 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

333 STRAIGHT DAYS of mighty fine pooping!! YAY!!!

My pooping karma is staying with me!
smiley

Poo Master
2/8/2018 7:26 pm EST
2/9/2018 12:26 am GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

Are Wet Farts Good To Eat?

http://www.topix.com/forum/dallas/dallas-tells-a-story/TK8023QRR036HQPCV/are-wet-farts-good-to-eat.

HELL YEAH !!

This morning's trip to the Donald Trump resulted in, oh what a surprise, another Ouija Board poo coil. The letter "S" was revealed floating in his mouth and measured 18" long. I named it Donny the Sap because Sap is a synonym for Moron and Donald Trumps claim to fame is being one. I gave it the finger, then I spat on it, and then flushed it down the throat of the Donald Trump !!

Love and poo coils to all !!
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/9/2018 8:48 am EST
2/9/2018 1:48 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

Made 3 dumps today, the first was a 12 inch regular sized sausage that sank and left a skid mark. The second was made up of several long rather skinny poops that intertwined after hitting the water so measuring was not possible. the third was a bunch of small balls with a blast of brown water.
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/9/2018 2:37 pm EST
2/9/2018 7:37 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

Plopped out a 22 incher this morning. It was light brown and half floated, so it was easy to measure. There was also a goodly amount of gas with it that could be smelled in the next room.
smiley

Poo Master
2/9/2018 8:02 pm EST
2/10/2018 1:02 am GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

This Is Why Farts In The Bath Always Smell Way Worse

https://www.unilad.co.uk/life/this-is-why-farts-in-the-bath-always-smell-way-worse/


HELL YEAH !!

This morning's trip to the Donald Trump resulted in, non-other than, another Ouija Board poo coil. The letter "A" was revealed floating in his mouth and measured 20" long. I named it Donny the Anus because Anus is a synonym for Moron and Donald Trumps behavior proves that he is one. I cursed it out real good, then I urinated on it, and then flushed it down the throat of the Donald Trump !!

Love and poo coils to all !!
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/10/2018 7:13 am EST
2/10/2018 12:13 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

A great day for a great poop! I made a continuous log that measured a tad over 20 inches and slid out like it was greased. Very little gas/smell and east clean up!
smiley

Anonymous Coward
2/10/2018 10:51 am EST
2/10/2018 3:51 pm GMT

RE: AE's very first official poo thread

I had a large serving of Kung Pao chicken yesterday. It was spicy, but seemed a LOT more spicy when it came out today.
smiley

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