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AE's very first official poo thread

Poo Master
5/8/2016 8:05 am EST
5/8/2016 1:05 pm GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

AE's very first official poo thread

Here is a POOP Pillow for rest and relaxation, as well as a living room decoration!!!

http://throwboy.com/products/poop

Anonymous Coward
5/8/2016 4:49 pm EST
5/8/2016 9:49 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

^^^^^Perfect! I was looking for a fluffy poo coil to laty my head upon when I go to sleep!!! I'm Serious!



:cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer::cheer:

Poo Master
5/9/2016 7:26 am EST
5/9/2016 12:26 pm GMT

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AE's very first official poo thread

The BEST POOPY Song I have found!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=514FFvG0SKA

:headbang::rofl::headbang::rofl::gangup::rofl:

Anonymous Coward
5/9/2016 12:36 pm EST
5/9/2016 5:36 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

^^That poop song is funny! That guy on the fron looks like George Noory of coastotcoastam. VERY appropriate I must say!

:headbang:

Poo Master
5/10/2016 6:36 am EST
5/10/2016 11:36 am GMT

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AE's very first official poo thread

^^^Yes, there is a resemblance.

The history of the POOP emoji!!:

http://www.fastcompany.com/3037803/the-oral-history-of-the-poop-emoji-or-how-google-brought-poop-to-america

:headbang::headbang::headbang::headbang:

Anonymous Coward
5/10/2016 3:19 pm EST
5/10/2016 8:19 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

^The Japanese are really into poop it seems. They where also the ones who are in to bukkake. Those are some weird people over there.

Just sayin.

Poo Master
5/11/2016 6:42 am EST
5/11/2016 11:42 am GMT

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AE's very first official poo thread

What your POOP says about you! by Mama Natural:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VM1FGtcdxDo


:headbang::cheer::headbang:

Anonymous Coward
5/12/2016 2:35 pm EST
5/12/2016 7:35 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

^^Most of mine are Type 4: sausage- or snake-like smooth and soft. They don't hurt when they come out.

jus sayin

Poo Master
5/13/2016 7:03 am EST
5/13/2016 12:03 pm GMT

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AE's very first official poo thread

It's a good idea to look in your toilet before you flush your poop away!

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2013/02/14/normal-stool.aspx

Filthy Smooka
5/13/2016 4:12 pm EST
5/13/2016 9:12 pm GMT

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AE's very first official poo thread

I took a crap. I swear it started to ask me for a donation. i took a closer look and damn!! It was Marco!!! I flushed that thing away as fast as I could!!!



:damned:

Anonymous Coward
5/13/2016 6:03 pm EST
5/13/2016 11:03 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

Frusen gladge

Olde time 80s

Anonymous Coward
5/13/2016 6:33 pm EST
5/13/2016 11:33 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

^^

I like me some old time frusen gladge!

:headbang::headbang::headbang::headbang::headbang::headbang:

Poo Master
5/14/2016 6:20 am EST
5/14/2016 11:20 am GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

AE's very first official poo thread

Products you can buy that are made from POO!!!

HELL YEAH!!!


http://blogs.sierraclub.org/greenlife/2013/01/4-unexpected-products-made-from-poop.html

:headbang:

Turd Dangler
5/14/2016 10:32 am EST
5/14/2016 3:32 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

^ ur dedication to defecation is remarkable!

Filthy Smooka
5/14/2016 5:26 pm EST
5/14/2016 10:26 pm GMT

Avatar for Filthy Smooka

AE's very first official poo thread

I still have my turd bird I got in Wyoming, at a stuckeys I think. I am thinking of reviving it with some water and bringing back some memorable stink.

:cheer:

Anonymous Coward
5/15/2016 3:25 am EST
5/15/2016 8:25 am GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

I like to poop.

Poo Master
5/15/2016 6:38 am EST
5/15/2016 11:38 am GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

AE's very first official poo thread

Stationary mad from POO!!!

HELL YEAH!

https://www.poopoopaper.com/en/

Filthy Smooka
5/15/2016 5:45 pm EST
5/15/2016 10:45 pm GMT

Avatar for Filthy Smooka

AE's very first official poo thread

Just to reply to this thread. I poo, but don't really take it too seriously. If it smells really bad. I assume it was a good one.

HTH

supershartstories
5/15/2016 6:28 pm EST
5/15/2016 11:28 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

Just over halfway through the flight, all the coffee in my stomach feels like it's percolating its way down into my lower intestine. I hunker down and try and focus on other things. What feels like an hour, but probably isn't more than twenty minutes, passes. We then enter what turns out to be pretty violent turbulence. With each bounce, I have to fight my body, trying not to shit my pants. "Thirty minutes to landing, maybe forty five" I try and tell myself, each jostle a gamble I can't afford to lose. I signal to [the flight attendant] and she heads toward me.

"Excuse me, where is the bathroom, because I don't see a door?" I ask while still devoting considerable energy to fighting off what starts to feel like someone shook a seltzer bottle and shoved it up my ass. She looks at me, bemused, and says, "Well, we don't really have one per se." She continues, "Technically, we have one, but it's really just for emergencies. Don't worry, we're landing shortly anyway."

"I'm pretty sure this qualifies as an emergency," I manage to mutter through my grimace. I can see the fear in her face as she points nervously to the back seat. The turbulence outside is matched only by the cyclone that is ravaging my bowels. She points to the back of the plane and says, "There. The toilet is there." For a brief instant, relief passes over my face. She continues, "If you pull away the leather cushion from that seat, it's under there. There's a small privacy screen that pulls up around it, but that's it." At this point, I was committed. She had just lit the dynamite and the mine shaft was set to blow.

I turn to look where she is pointing and I get the urge to cry. I do cry, but my face is so tightly clenched it makes no difference. The "toilet" seat is occupied by the CFO, i.e. our fucking client. Our fucking female fucking client!

Up to this point, nobody has observed my struggle or my exchange with the flight attendant. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." That's all I can say as I limp toward her like Quasimodo impersonating a penguin, and begin my explanation. Of course, as soon as my competitors see me talking to the CFO, they all perk up to find out what the hell I'm doing.

Given my jovial nature and fun-loving attitude thus far on the roadshow, almost everybody thinks I'm joking. She, however, knows right away that I am anything but and jumps up, moving quickly to where I had been sitting. I now had to remove the seat top - no easy task when you can barely stand upright, are getting tossed around like a hoodrat at a block party, and are fighting against a gastrointestinal Mt. Vesuvius.

I manage to peel back the leather seat top to find a rather luxurious looking commode, with a nice cherry or walnut frame. It had obviously never been used, ever. Why this moment of clarity came to me, I do not know. Perhaps it was the realization that I was going to take this toilet's virginity with a fury and savagery that was an abomination to its delicate craftsmanship and quality. I imagined some poor Italian carpenter weeping over the violently soiled remains of his once beautiful creation. The lament lasted only a second as I was quickly back to concentrating on the tiny muscle that stood between me and molten hot lava.

I reach down and pull up the privacy screens, with only seconds to spare before I erupt. It's an alka-seltzer bomb, nothing but air and liquid spraying out in all directions - a Jackson Pollock masterpiece. The pressure is now reversed. I feel like I'm going to have a stroke, I push so hard to end the relief, the tormented sublime relief.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." My apologies do nothing to drown out the heinous noises that seem to carry on and reverberate throughout the small cabin indefinitely. If that's not bad enough, I have one more major problem. The privacy screen stops right around shoulder level. I am sitting there, a disembodied head, in the back of the plane, on a bucking bronco for a toilet, all while looking my colleagues, competitors, and clients directly in the eyes. "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!" briefly comes to mind.

I literally could reach out with my left hand and rest it on the shoulder of the person adjacent to me. It was virtually impossible for him, or any of the others, and by others I mean high profile business partners and clients, to avert their eyes. They squirm and try not to look, inclined to do their best to carry on and pretend as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening, that they weren't sharing a stall with some guy crapping his intestines out. Releasing smelly, sweaty, shame at 100 feet per second.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry" is all the ashamed disembodied head can say…over and over again.

Not that it mattered.

http://jalopnik.com/this-is-the-most-embarrassing-plane-pooping-story-ever-1456846301

Poo Master
5/16/2016 6:27 am EST
5/16/2016 11:27 am GMT

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AE's very first official poo thread

^^^Well written and great Poo story!

Thanks for sharing!


If you want to even with somebody, send them some POOP!

http://poopsenders.com/

HELL YEAH!!



:headbang::headbang::rofl:

Anonymous Coward
5/16/2016 1:10 pm EST
5/16/2016 6:10 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

^^^^:rofl:

You can send elephant, cow or gorilla poop! There is even a special combo pack. It also anonymous!

Someone needs to send some to Disturbed.





:happydance::poop:

Lapsangshoedong
5/16/2016 2:05 pm EST
5/16/2016 7:05 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

Perastalsis makes poos come out.

Anonymous Coward
5/16/2016 2:09 pm EST
5/16/2016 7:09 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

my peristalsis is weak and i use enemas to make my fecal bowel movements and rounders come out

Anonymous Coward
5/16/2016 5:46 pm EST
5/16/2016 10:46 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

^^Its a Poo thread. What the hell did you expect newbie??

Anonymous Coward
5/16/2016 6:14 pm EST
5/16/2016 11:14 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Now that is what I am talking about!



:weirdcat:

Poo Master
5/17/2016 6:41 am EST
5/17/2016 11:41 am GMT

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AE's very first official poo thread

Unicrons and Squatty Potty. Hiliarious!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q


HELL YEAH!

:headbang:

Filthy Smooka
5/17/2016 3:53 pm EST
5/17/2016 8:53 pm GMT

Avatar for Filthy Smooka

AE's very first official poo thread

For some reason that unicorn reminds me of Sweet.

:scream:

Poo Master
5/18/2016 6:46 am EST
5/18/2016 11:46 am GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

AE's very first official poo thread

25 Recycled Poop Innovations:

http://www.trendhunter.com/slideshow/recycled-poop-innovations

HELL YEAH!

Anonymous Coward
5/18/2016 11:27 am EST
5/18/2016 4:27 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

I need to know how to recycle my own poop. I just hate flushing it away since I paid for the food and stuff that went into making it. I tried using it my vegetable garden but my neighbors reported the smell to the city and they issued me a warning about the smell.

:damned:

Anonymous Coward
5/18/2016 4:02 pm EST
5/18/2016 9:02 pm GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

I just checked into this motel after driving almost 12 hours. I had some of the free coffee in the office while checking in. I got to the room and let loose a big poop in the toilet. Took 3 flushes to get her down and I am on the second floor.

I had to close the door to the toilet. The smell was really bad.

:butt:

Filthy Smooka
5/18/2016 6:41 pm EST
5/18/2016 11:41 pm GMT

Avatar for Filthy Smooka

AE's very first official poo thread

"The smell was really bad". You got too close to Sweet.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Anonymous Coward
5/18/2016 8:12 pm EST
5/19/2016 1:12 am GMT

AE's very first official poo thread

sweet pinned me down and gave me an enema, i am traumatized. she then put a bucket under me and told me to push out. she then left with all of my bowel contents. i dont know what she did with it or where she took it. i'm scared

Poo Master
5/19/2016 6:42 am EST
5/19/2016 11:42 am GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

AE's very first official poo thread

^^Sweet probably wanted it for her swimming pool/

Speaking of which. Here is a "floater", a floating poop (with corn) for your swimming pool!

http://www.perpetualkid.com/the-floater-gigantic-poop.html?gclid=CMKQwsb35cwCFQ8yaQodec0ATQ

HELL YEAH!

:headbang:

Filthy Smooka
5/19/2016 4:47 pm EST
5/19/2016 9:47 pm GMT

Avatar for Filthy Smooka

AE's very first official poo thread

Sweet put all fecal matter in a pool that she then immerses herself in to get that rock monster body she covets.

:rofl:

Poo Master
5/20/2016 6:46 am EST
5/20/2016 11:46 am GMT

Avatar for Poo Master

AE's very first official poo thread

A POOP Delivery service. Send some to that special someone:

https://www.ipoopyou.com/products

A choice of cow, horse, pig, chicken and goat poop.

HELL YEAH!

:headbang:

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